Game Death Brawl:Sonic VS Conker
by Patchwork Poltergeist
Summary: A deathmatch fic hosted my me and my friend. A deathmatch fic between Sonic the Hedgehog and Conker from Conker's Bad Fur Day(in case you didn't know). Special apperances by DBZ characters too! WARNIG: Not for Conker fans
1. The Longest Disclaimer Ever

Disclaimer: Okay, I don't own *breathes deeply* Sonic, Knuckles, Robotnic, Conker, Mario, Luigi, Fox, Link, Crash, Coco, Towlie, Spyro, Bianca, Hunter, Shin, Goku, Abe, or anyone else besides myself and my insane friend Kyra Moonshine. Whew!  
Kyra Moonshine: Hey, I'm not insane, I'm mentally challenged. Now move over! *shoves Cupcake out of the chair*   
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: Hey, my chair! Give it back!  
Kyra Moonshine: No! I claim this chair now in the name of me.  
*Cupcake starts a fight with Moonshine until a mallet whacks them on the head*  
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: Who the hell did that?! Show yourself!  
Mario: Well I had to shut you up somehow.  
Kyra Moonshine: How 'bout I shut you up?!  
*Moonshine chases Mario around the room swinging a chain mace*  
*Mario starts yelling at Cupcake and Cupcake yells back*  
*Fox walks in*  
Fox: Hey Mario, quit messing around we have to grab our seats before Kirby and Luigi take them again before the fight.  
Mario: Didn't you reserve seats two weeks ago?  
Fox: Well we were supposed to but somebody spent the money on stuffing his face!  
Mario: Wait why don't we ask Kyra and G.I.R.'s Cupcake for tickets?  
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: Don't count on it..  
Mario: Well why the hell not ?  
Kyra Moonshine: Because you just whacked us with a friggin' mallet!!   
Fox: Nice going genius  
Mario: Don't you start with me!  
Fox: You're the one who started it!  
Mario: Well if you hadn't started I wouldn't have to tell who started what so who started it!  
Fox, Kyra Moonshine, & G.I.R.'s Cupcake: What?!  
Mario: Huh?  
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: I'm confused.  
Fox: You're not the only one. Come on Mario let's go before we lose our seats.  
Kyra Moonshine: Hey wait a second I'm not done chasing Mario yet.  
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: Chase him after the fan fiction, we've got a hosting to do!  
Kyra Moonshine: A hosting?   
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: Whatever, just come on.  
Kyra Moonshine: You ain't the boss of me!  
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: Yes I am. It's my fan fiction. Anyway, I don't own any characters except myself and Kyra.  
Kyra Moonshine: Hey I own myself cheese loaf!  
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: Who you callin' cheese loaf, jerk?!  
*Fox leans over to Mario*  
Fox: Let's leave quietly before we get disintegrated or something.  
*Mario starts to object then looks at the two arguers*  
Mario: Good idea.  
*Fox & Mario start to back away slowly then run away really fast*  
*Shin walks in*  
Shin: Hey, don't you have a hosting job to do? The reader isn't going to read a disclaimer all day!  
Kyra Moonshine:*looks at the clock* Oh crap we've got to get to the hosting box!  
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: Told ya.  
Kyra Moonshine: Quiet or I'll put a fish in your pants!  
Shin: *while walking out* Damn, this has got to be the longest disclaimer ever.  
G.I.R.'s Cupcake: Look, don't make us make you eat stinky fish paste again!  
  
  
  
A small reminder  
Oh and remember readers Kyra's my co-writing this so if this thing sucks flame her not me. Thank you now on to the next chapter! 


	2. Round 1-Arrival of the Fighters

G.I.R.'s Cupcake (G.C. for short) and Kyra Moonshine (Kyra 4 short) are sitting at a podium with a giant banner that says Gaming Death Brawl 2000 on the front.

G.C. : Hello seekers of carnage! Welcome to the first ever Game Death Brawl!

Kyra: *looks at the banner* Wait, this says "Gaming Death Brawl 2000" it's not the year 2000!

G.C.: I know, the banner guy messed up.

Kyra: He got drunk and passed out from the paint fumes again didn't he?

G.C.: Yep.

Kyra: Why that little.. Let's go eat his spleen!

G.C.: *licks her lips* Too late.

Kyra: I can't _believe_ you destroyed him and left me out!

G.C.: You were on a different planet Kyra!

Kyra: So?

G.C.: So, I'm not going all the way to Evermoon just to give you meat.!

Kyra: No distance is too long for meat..

G.C.: Whatever. Let's go to our on-street reporter Abe outside where our competitors are arriving. 

cut to outside, no one is there

G.C.: Abe? 

*no answer*

G.C.: Abe? 

*no answer*

G.C.: GODDAMNIT ABE WHERE THE BLOODY HELL _ARE_ YOU??!!!!

*phone rings, Kyra picks it up*

Kyra: What? That little turd! Get his green ass on the phone right now! What do you mean he's in Vegas?! A photo shoot? Who the hell would want to look at him in a picture? Well yeah, I suppose _they_ would. Bye Frank. *hangs up*

G.C.: Well?

Kyra: The little wart face skipped town. He's in a photo shoot in Vegas.

G.C.: *looks shocked and pissed*

Kyra: Um.. G.C., are you okay?

G.C.: Excuse me a minute. *walks off screen*

*off screen* That goddamn @#$% I'll blow his #$%@*&$ ass of! That piece of *$%@! I'll tear his $%^& balls out and shove them down his $%*$# throat!!!

Kyra: *looks off screen then to the camera* Well _that _was unprofessional.

*G.I.R.'s Cupcake returns and sits at the desk. Her hair is seriously messed up from yelling*

G.C.: I feel better now. Hey what was with all the sensor bleeps?

Kyra: Oops, I forgot to kill the censorship thingy.

*Kyra throws a can at the sensor guy's head knocking him unconscious*

Kyra: Happy now?

G.C.: Hold on. *picks up a walkie talkie* Coco get your ass out side now! Yes.

Kyra: Now since that jerk Abe has gotten a big head from all the publicity from XBox, let's go outside to Coco, where our fighters should be arriving soon.

cut to outside Coco is standing at the traditional blue carpet (I know it's supposed to be a red carpet, but this is MY fic and I'll do whatever the hell I want! So there! Besides, red is boring) a bunch of video game characters are yelling like idiots behind a velvet rope

Coco: Thanks Kyra. I'm here outside Bloodbath Stadium where our fighters should be arriving any moment!

*suddenly Crash jumps in front of the camera*

Crash: *while jumping around and waving his arms like a moron* Hi mom! I finally changed by boxers like you wanted! Aren't you proud?

Coco: Crash, get back behind the rope before Kyra and that other crazy person find out..

Crash: Why should I?

Coco: Because if you don't those two will steal that yo-yo you like so much and burn it, that's why!

Crash: No! Not my yo-yo! *hugs his yo-yo and runs back to the crowd tripping over the rope making several rope holders fall*

Coco: *sighs and smacks her head while rolling her eyes in embarrassment*

cut back to announcing desk

G.C.: Hey Kyra, I thought you killed him!

Kyra: I thought I did too! I'll make a note to kill him later in my destroying book.

G.C.: You have a destroying book?

Kyra: Never mind.

cut back to blue carpet

Coco: Putting that ugliness behind us, let's talk to the crowd while we wait for the main event to arrive.

*Coco walks to Robotnic who is eating nachos and getting it all over himself*

Coco: Hello sir, why have you come to today's match?

Robotnic: To watch that annoying hedgehog and someone else kill each other! Then with Sonic out of the way I can rise and take over the world! *laughs evilly, then spills nacho cheese all over himself* Oh crap! I just got these back from the cleaners!

*everyone points at Botnic and laughs*

Coco: O-kay that was .. different.. *walks over to Shin* Hello sir, why have you joined us here in at Bloodbath Stadium?

Shin: Well someone told me there was going to be free food. Besides, I got this weird invitation and I had nothing else better to do.

cut back to announcing desk

G.C.: What? Shin is an anime character from DBZ. What's he doing here?

Kyra: *whistles innocently* 

Cut back to blue carpet. Coco, Crash and Sheila (the kangaroo from Spyro 3 for you stupid people) are standing at a brick wall on the side of the stadium. The message "Marsupials Suck! Rodents Rock!" has been gratified on the wall. The three marsupials look pissed off

Coco: All right, who's the smart ass who did this?

Sheila: *while balancing on her tail in her regular Australian accent* Yeah, I'll stomp him flat!

Crash: Yeah, what they said! Uh, what were we talking about again?

Sheila: Forget it for now mates, we'll stomp the dirty bloke later.

*a cool looking green & silver hovercraft lands in front of the blue carpet*

Sheila: Coco, you'd better get back to your post I think that Sonic fella just arrived.

Coco: Oh man, you're right! *runs back the hovercraft*

Coco arrives just before the craft starts to open

Coco: *out of breath* That was close. If I got here any later, G.C. would totally kick my ass.

cut to announcing desk

G.C.: Damn right I would.

cut back to blue carpet

*Coco desperately tries to fix the flower in her hair as the craft door opens*

*Sonic, wearing some cool lookin' shades and Tails get out of the hovercraft which automatically parks itself in the reserved fighters space* 

Coco: *while walking next to Sonic * Sonic what do you think will be the outcome of tonight's match?

Sonic: The same way just about the same way everyone else feels, except my opponent of course.

*Conker walks up *

Conker: Screw you hedgehog! I'll kick your sorry spiked ass from here to um.. somewhere else! 

Sonic: Don't count on it.. That is, if you can count .

Conker: *looks pissed off*

*Sonic walks down the blue carpet, hi-fiving some characters. He stops when he gets to Shin*

Sonic: Wait, you're not a video game character.

cut to announcing desk

G.C.: See?! I told you some one else would notice!

Kyra: No you didn't.

G.C.: Well I said it now.

Kyra: That doesn't make any sense.

G.C.: well, I -um, that is to say.. umm, uh, hey shut up!

cut back to blue carpet

Shin: What does that have to do with anything?

Person Reading the Fic: I don't know.

Sonic: *turns to reader* Stay out of this you innocent bystander!

*Reader sticks out his/her tongue*

*Coco turns to Conker*

Coco: How'd you get here anyway?

Conker: *points to a crappy car in the fighter's space* 

Coco: What a crappy car.

Conker: You didn't think it was so crappy when you were the backseat, babycakes.

*everyone goes eeeewwww! Except Crash who looks shocked and Spyro and Botnic who are laughing. Then Botnic spills his drink on his pants and everyone points and laughs again*

Coco: *in a harsh whisper* We agreed to never mention that incident ever again! 

Conker: I agree to a lot of things, babycakes. 

*as Conker walks down the blue carpet he notices Sonic and Shin arguing about which is better: video games or anime*

Shin: Well any anime character can kick your sorry ass.

Sonic: I'll show you who can kick ass!

*attacks Shin*

cut to announcing desk

Kyra: Call security, someone attacked someone again.

G.C. You can't..

Kyra: *suspiciously* Why not?

G.C. I fired security.

Kyra: Why?!

G.C.: They asked for a raise.

cut back to blue carpet

Conker: Freaks.

Sonic: Well at least _I_ don't go around f***ing bandicoots! 

cut back to desk

G.C.: Stupid sensor man! * shoots sensor man*

cut back to blue carpet

Conker: Well at least I look like a squirrel! The only way others can tell you're a hedgehog is because the writing says so!

Sonic: What?! Well at least I don't-

*Coco comes between the two*

Coco: *while trying to hold Sonic & Conker back* Okay, okay guys break it up, save it for the ring you two.

*Conker glares at Sonic, gives him the finger then leaves*

Shin: *grinning cockily* That squirrel is so gonna kick your ass ya' blue freak

*everyone except Robotnic and Coco (who is trying to recover from embarrassment about the backseat thing) throws cans, popcorn, and bottles at Shin*

Well how'd ya like the first chapter of horrible nonsense? Will Coco recover from being embarrassed on the fanfiction.net? Will this fight ever get under way? Will Robotnic spill something on himself again? Who invited Shin? How come the disclaimer is so long? Will the rating go up? Will I ever find my other sock? Why do fools fall in love? Find out in the next chapter of horrible violence, cursing, and things of hilarious cheesey insanity next chapter! Oh by the way, if you flame me, I'll flame you back. Not to mention my little friend Mr. Chainsaw. 


	3. Round 2- Interviews

Everyone that was outside is now in in the their seats in the audience. In the first row (in order left to right) there are Fox, Shin, Link, Mario, Luigi, Kirby, Tails, and Towlie. In the second row are Crash, Hunter ,Bianca, Sheila, Spyro, Sparx, Elora, and Bentley. Knuckles is sitting on stool in the ring reading a magazine G.I.R.'s Cupcake & Kyra Moonshine are at the desk as usual. 

G.C.: Hello, and welcome back to Game Death Brawl live!

Kyra: Welcome back? We didn't go anywhere. And how is this live? Is there one of those action net cam things here?

G.C.: No.

Kyra: Then how the hell is it live?

G.C.: Because I said so that's why!

Kyra: That doesn't make any sense G.C.!

G.C.: Kyra, since when have we ever made sense?!

Kyra: This is true.

Link: *from the audience, duh* Will you two nimrods shut up?!

G.C.: Quiet you! *throws a fish at Links head*

Kyra: He's right though. We need to get this fight underway.

G.C.:Okay, okay. Let's get to our pre-brawl interviews! 

Kyra: Um, G.C. we have a little problem. We don't have another reporter, Abe was supposed to talk to Conker and Coco was going to talk to Sonic and Abe never showed up.

G.C.: Oh shit (hey I didn't get bleeped! The sensor man is dead for good! Ha ha ha ha ha!) You're right.. Well can't Coco do it?

Kyra: G.C., think about it would you let Coco and Conker stay in the same room together, _alone_?

G.C.: *shudders* Good point.. Well we have to get an interviewer, it's in the rules.

Kyra: So get somebody!

G.C.: What? Why me?

Kyra: Because I spent 15 fucking hours on the phone last night getting Sonic and that drunken squirrel to come here that's why! 

G.C.: *sigh* Fine.

*G.C. walks around the audience looking for an interviewer, but no one looks suitable enough*

*Towlie walks up to G.C.*

Towlie: Don't forget to bring a towel.

G.C.: What?

Towlie: When you're lookin' for something you should always bring a towel in case you fall in a puddle.

G.C.: What? Why the hell would there be a puddle in the stadium?

Towlie: *shrugs*

*G.C. & Towlie stand still for 10 minutes and nothing happens*

Towlie: You wanna get high?

G.C.: No. 

*G.C. grabs Towlie by the arm and drags him to Conker's preparing room*

Towlie: Where are we going?

G.C.: None of your damn business towel!

Towlie: Are we gonna get high?

G.C.: No we aren't gonna get high!

Towlie: Well then I'm not doing this!

G.C.: *in a low threatening voice* Oh, you'll do it all right or I'll toss you in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants!

Towlie: That's no place for a towel! I'll get all soggy! 

G.C.: Good! Now get in your terryclothed ass in there! *throws Towlie in the room. Then with a look of triumph and satisfaction walks back to her post*

cut to desk. Kyra and GIR (not the author but the little robot from Invader Zim) are spinning in the desk's spinny chairs.

Kyra: Wheeeeeeeee!

GIR: Wheee! I'm spinning! I'm spinning wheeee! I'm spinning! I'm spinning wheeeeeeee! 

*G.C. walks up*

G.C.: Is _this_ what you do in your spare time?! 

Kyra: Of course not! Sometimes I also spray foam at the same time.

*a warp hole appears in the floor and Zim climbs out of it*

Zim: GIR! What are you doing here?!

GIR: I'm spinning! Wheeehooo!

Zim: Stop this foolishness immediately! Why aren't you guarding the base?

GIR: Oh, that was boring. Want some cheese? *holds up a large hunk of stinky cheese*

Zim: *while recoiling in disgust from the smell* Get back to the base and I'll give you a taco.

GIR: Ooooo! Gimmie tacos! Taco taco taco!

Zim: No GIR.

GIR: But I need the little tacos I need them or I will explode. I do that sometimes.

*Zim tosses a bag into the reappeared warp hole and GIR jumps in after them*

Kyra: Awww, my spinny pal.

*Zim looks at Kyra like she's a freak then jumps in the warp hole which immediately disappears* 

G.C.: *after giving Kyra a nasty look* I got the interview guy.

Kyra: Great, let's start.

G.C.: Wait, you wanna go get some nachos or something first?

Kyra: Yeah, okay.

Reader: Oh no you don't, stop stalling, I clicked on this to read a fight! Quit stalling, I want to see some carnage!

Everyone: Yeah!

G.C.: Fine, you don't have to be so pushy. Now let's go to our Pre-Brawl interview! 

Kyra: Well to those of you who have never read a Death Brawl fic (meaning everyone this it the 1st one) a Pre-Brawl interview isn't really an interview at all. A reporter, or in this case a reporter and some guy G.C. found in the audience, asks what they expect of tonight's fight, the fighter shouts horrible threats to his/her opponent and then the other guy does the same thing. Then the fighters enter the ring and the fight begins.

G.C.: Our first interview is with everyone's favorite blue, famous, speedy freedom fighting hedgehog, Sonic!

Cut to Sonic's preparing room. I'm too lazy to write a description of it. Imagine your own. Coco and Sonic are sitting to director-type chairs facing each other. Sonic is still wearing his shades.

*Coco nervously shuffles her interview papers and adjusts the ear-link communication device that connects her to the main desk*

Coco: So Sonic, after 10 years, you've attracted many fans and it all comes down to tonight's first ever Game Death Drawl, how do you feel?

Sonic: Pretty good, I guess. After duking it out with Egghead for this long, this should be a snap.

cut to Botnic in the audience

Robotnic: Blast you hedgehog! Stop calling me Egghead! I hope the squirrel tears off your head!

Coco: Confident aren't you?

Sonic: You'd be too if you'd saved the world repeatedly and had tons of fans backing you up. Anything else?

Coco: No, not really

G.C.: *from the ear-link* Coco you blasted idiot, read the card I gave you!

Coco: * whispering into the link* Okay, you don't have to be a jerk about it. 

*looks at the index card in the front pocket*

Coco: Oh Sonic one more thing. I just got word that your opponent Conker called you *reading badly from the card* An old fashioned slowmo asshole that couldn't catch a cold if your life depended on it. And that all your games, movies, and TV shows suck donkey balls. Plus if he wanted to he could he could run circles around you in two nanoseconds, rip out your vocal cords, put you on a stick and use you as a ventriloquist dummy. 

*Sonic sits looking extremely shocked and pissed*

Sonic: Well you can tell that fucking rodent that I'm amazed he could even find the time to say it since half the time he's got some woodland creature's dick in his mouth! I am going to shove my foot up his sorry squirrel ass so fast he'll go through five time warp!

Coco: Okay that's nice. Um, back to you G..I.R.'s Cupcake and Kyra Moonshine.

cut to desk

G.C.: I thought I told her to only call me supreme all-powerful mistress of the universe.

Kyra: Like anyone would ever listen to you.

G.C.: *glares at Kyra* I despise you.

Kyra: Thank you.

G.C.: You're unwelcome.

Kyra: I'm sorry.

G.C.: No you're not!

Kyra: Okay so I'm not.. *looks down at her feet * Oh my God my feet are missing!

G.C.: *looks at Kyra's feet which are still there* Uh have you had your insanity medication today?

Kyra: I threw it out the window.

G.C.: Why?!

Kyra: Because it called me Senior Crumple Bottom!

G.C.: Let's see what Sonic's opponent Conker has to say about Sonic's remark.

Kyra: I hope you found someone good.

G.C.: Well, eh, he's definitely somebody.

Cut to Conker and Towlie. They're both laying on the floor high and acting more like idiots than usual.

Towlie: Hey, look at all the colors! Ha ha hee!

Conker: Wow! I've got a tail! 

Towlie: *while laughing* So do ya think you'll win?

Conker: Hey, what I do use to get to work is none of your business.

Cut to desk.

Kyra: WHAT THE HELL IS WAS **THAT**?!!!!

G.C.: Um.. The interview? Heh heh.

Kyra: I _know_ that,! What the *@#$ is that blasted towel doing here?!!

(Okay who magically brought the cencor man back to life huh?! Was it you Mr. Rice Toes? Was it?! I demand to know this instant! Oh wait., this is just a stapler. Go on reading people. Sorry about the little interruption.)

G.C.: Giving the interview.

Kyra: That wasn't an interview! That was just slurred crack talk from two high morons!

G.C: ..And Your point is?

Kyra: *aggravated sigh* I want to know why Towlie was giving the interview!

G.C.: You said to get someone. You didn't say they had to be good.

Kyra: What is that pothead of a towel doing here in the first place? Towlie's a unimportant character from _South Park_. What's he doing here? 

G.C.: What _I _want to know how he got through security.

Kyra: You **fired **security remember?

G.C.: Oh yeah. Well none of the readers wanted to hear that squirrel anyway.

Reader: Hey! No we don't! Maybe some of us wanted to read what Conker had to say.

G.C.: You'll think what I tell you to think when my computer tells me what to tell them to think.

Reader: *looks confused*

Kyra: Good job getting rid of the reader's complaints .

G.C.: Well Kyra as Jim Davis once said: _If you can't convince 'em confuse 'em._

Kyra: Good motto.

G.C: But that's not my motto. My motto is-

Kyra: Don't care! My motto is "Get them before they get you".

G.C.: Isn't that a bit paranoid?

Kyra: *eyes G.C. suspiciously* You're been plotting with the Cutout Cookie People again haven't you?!~ HAVENT YOU??!!!!! Well your little scheme won't work this time! Because you see there's a little flaw in your plan! You see I don't even WEAR pink platinum sneakers!! I have foiled your evil Cutout Cookie plans yet again! You won't get me so easily! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! 

End of Chapter 2

Well that was a happy little chapter wasn't it? Nothin's happened yet except pointless insanity. I bet you're wondering why I torture you by putting of the fight like this aren't you? **Well I happen to LIKE to fling people into a horrible realm of horrible and undying realm of misery for all eternity!** *laughs evilly* Sorry I thought of something funny. Anyhoo, once I find my other big foam hat I'll start to work on the next chapter This will definitely be the chapter with fighting in it. Promise! If I'm lying may lightning strike my worst enemy. *a giant bolt of lighting strikes worst enemy* Oops. Well that takes care of one annoyance. I wonder if I can get rid of homework that way. Now if you'll excuse me I must pry my foam hat from the mouth of this rabid yo-yo. 'Till next chapter come see me sometime and call ahead so I can make tracks to Antarctica!

__

  



	4. Round 3- Some backgound Info & stuff

The place looks the same as last time except Towlie and Crash (who's getting a soda) are gone. 

*The hosts sit at the desk. G.C. is drawing something and Kyra is messing with a voodoo doll.*

G.C.: *looks at the camera* Oh crap, Kyra we're back on! 

Kyra: Who? What? Where? I don't know anything about any dictionaries! Oh we're back on.

G.C.: Yeah, we have to start workin' now. Not that we really do anything anyway.

Kyra: *sigh* Okay, this voodoo thing didn't work anyway.

G.C.: Who were you trying to control?

Kyra: The fat bear taking Towlie's seat.

G.C.: Moneybags?

Kyra: Yeah him, He owes me a macaroni sandwich!

G.C.: Maybe you need to see a voodoo priestess or something.

Kyra: Yeah maybe. *tosses doll on the floor*

In the audience Moneybags levitates and crashes to he ground. Spyro laughs at him.

Spyra: Hmmmm........ I wonder. *holds Moneybags doll in the air and the real Moneybags floats in the air and yelling his greedy ass off*

Sheila: Hey mates look! The fat bear is floating helpless! Let's kick his ass and take back all the money he cheated us out of!

Everyone: Yeah!

*everyone in the audience, G.I.R.'s Cupcake, and everyone who's ever played Spyro 2 or 3 rush to Moneybags and beats him to a pulp (I have paid that frickin' bloated bear _enough_ money already! I hate him I hate him I hate him! He deserves to have his ass whooped!) *

Spyro: And this is for threatening to turn me in to a blue hedgehog!

*flames Moneybags' coat*

cut to Sonic's room

Sonic: Hey! Wait a second! *runs to audience*

cut to audience

Spyro: Hey don't blame me dude, he's the one who said it..

Sonic: Okay, I'll beat _him _up then. *kicks Moneybags in the crotch and runs back to the preparing room* 

Cut to desk. G.C. returns looking very satisfied

Kyra: Damn. If I knew that thing worked right, I could have stolen valuable chesses of the world.

G.C.: Don't worry, you'll get to commit crimes later. And you'd better give me half of the cheddar cheese. Better yet all of it..

Kyra: Fine, fine, you can have some cheese. 

G.C.: *looks delighted* YAY! I got cheese! 

Kyra: Don't we have a fanfic to host?

G.C.: Oh, right. Anyway our first ever Video Game Death Brawl is about to commence! 

Audience: Yay!

G.C.: Our fighters should we entering the ring any moment now. While we're waiting, we'd like to tell you that this fanfic was brought to you by Greasy Goat Poison Bar Snacks. Remember: If it isn't Greasy Goat, it probably won't kill you! 

Kyra: What the-? I thought you hated advertising in entertainment!

G.C.: I do, but I hate being broke even more.

Kyra: *rolls her eyes*

G.C.: *listens to her earpiece* Okay, it's official people! The fight is about to begin! Hold on to your hats or heads if you don't have a hat 'cause here we go people!

Kyra: People? What people? At least half of the audience are elves, dragons, bears, birds, monkeys, rabbits or whatever! 

G.C.: Fine, miss politically correct.. Here we go um...... beings! Better?

Kyra: No. But I have a feeling that this the best I can hope for. 

G.C.: Good. Now the moment you've all been waiting not so patiently for, here come the brawlers!

Everyone: Yay! *under their breath* It's about damn time.

Kyra: And now here he comes, you know him, you love him, because if you don't I'll destroy you, the most famous hedgehog in the universe and then some, the one the only, Sonic the Hedgehog!

*Sonic runs in with his theme song playing in the background. He jumps and does a backflip into the ring*

*crowd cheers*

Kyra: *cheers very, _very _loudly in G.C.'s ear*

G.C.: Ow. My poor ears are ringing. *rubs ears* Kyra, aren't you supposed to give some insight on Sonic's gaming background? And don't take all day or yell Conker sucks after each sentence either.

Kyra: Spoilsport. Sonic the Hedgehog made his American debut in 1991 on the Sega Genesis. He was applauded as the first challenger to Nintendo's oh-so-famous mascot Mario. Not only that, his 1st game sold more than two million units worldwide in the first year alone! It was soon followed my the sequel _Sonic 2 _ In "93, he had two animated TV shows, a Christmas special and his own comic book.

G.C.: Which Kyra is reading right now. 

Kyra: *hides comic behind her back* I am not! In 1999 the cartoon _Sonic Underground_ for some sick reason debuted to the confusion and shock of many fans, mainly me. Later that year the game _Sonic Adventure _was released for Sega Dreamcast . In 2001 the game _Sonic Adventure 2 _came out introducing the characters Rouge the Bat and Shadow the evil hedgehog, plus marked Sonic's 10 year anniversary. Unfortunately- *makes a pain filled sound* that was the year the Dreamcast met it's demise.

G.C.: You aren't going to cry are you? 

Kyra: No! It's just very sad, that's all.

G.C.: Not for Nintendo and Playstation I bet.. After that, Sega went multi-platform 

And currently makes games for the Nintendo GameCube, Playstation 2, XBox, and the Gameboy Advance. Also earlier this year _Sonic Adventure 2 Battle _premiered in an ironic twist of fate in the GameCube and Sonic the Hedgehog on the Gameboy Advance.

Kyra: That G.C. is playing right now.

G.C.: Hey, leave my GBA outta this!

Kyra: Whatever. Now, in a few minutes, we'll do Conker's stats and then the fight of the century (or until a cooler fight comes out)! But first, these messages.

The words "a few messages" flash on the screen for 10 hours

Cut to audience. Hunter (the cheetah) is asleep and drooling on Shin's head.

Shin: *fells the top of his head* What the hell?

Bianca: *notices Hunter asleep* HUNTER WAKE UP!!!!

Hunter: *jumps in the air and lands on the floor* Who? What? Where? I-I wasn't asleep!

Shin: *turns around and glares at Hunter*

Link: *laughs hysterically*

Shin: Oh, shut up.

Link: * between laughs* He drooled on your head! *laughs until he falls out his chair*

Cut to desk

Kyra: and we're back folks! 

G.C.: Did ya miss us?

Everyone: No!

Kyra: Well screw you guys, we don't need you or your reviews or money!

G.C.: Umm Kyra actually we do.

Kyra: *looks at the camera and waterdogs* Heh heh heh. Sry about thet, you knew I was only joking right? *chuckles nervously*

G.C.: Kyra, if we get no reviews and get fired I'm so going to kill you.

Kyra: So? You were gonna kill me anyway for telling everyone that you're married to- *GC clasps her hand over Kyra's mouth*

G.C.: You shut the hell up! No one's supposed to know that!

*Kyra bites G.C.*

G.C.: *shakes her hand in pain* Ow! Goddamnit! 

Kyra: G.C. love Piccolo! She wants to screw him till the cows come home! *laughs* Ha! I told them what are you going to do about it?

G.C.: *looks pissed off and takes out a chainsaw* *glares*

Kyra: *nervously* Now it wouldn't be very smart to murder me in front of all these witnesses- I mean viewers would it? 

G.C.: Crap. Just wait until after the fic you little..

Reader: Hey, don't you guys have a fight to host?! I'm getting sick of this! I want some blood!

G.C.: And now here come our other fighter you know him, he's the one the only most foulmouthed little bastard this side of the forest, Conker the Squirrel!

*Everyone cheers (except Kyra and Tails who boos loudly)*

Conker: *looks up and flicks off Kyra* Fuck off asshole. No one gives a damn what the hell you think.

Kyra: Oh yeah? Say that to my face you little piece of .. squirrel crap!

Conker: I can't say it to your face. I'll get turned top stone!

Kyra: *begins to shout a comeback but gets interrupted by G.C.'s hysterical laughs

G.C.: *laughs* Tuned to stone, that's a good one. 

Kyra: *glares at them both*

G.C.: Aw, come on where's your sense of humor?

Kyra: Whatever. Here's G.C. to do Conker's stats I suppose. That is if my idiot co-host ever stops laughing!

G.C.: Canker came out in the N64 game Conker's Bad Fur Day in 2001 around March or so. It was one of the only M rated game on the N64, and had declaimers plastered all over the commercials, game guides and the game itself. Conker was the first step to proving to the world that Nintendo wasn't just for kids. The game may have not been a smash hit-

Kyra: *points at Conker* Ha ha!

G.C.: *after giving Kyra a glare* It wasn't a hit but it did win Electronic Gaming Monthly' s gamer's choice award for best N64 game of the year! That is a triumph even Sonic didn't pull off for either Dreamcast or Gamecube. Quite an accomplishment for a small woodland forest creature, don't ya think Kyra? Wait, don't answer that. 

Kyra: Darn. 

G.C.: And now thermometer you've all not so patiently waited for: The first ever Game Deathbrawl match ever!

Everyone: *cheers*

Well here it come,. The fight! Are you on the edge of your seat? You should be. Stay tuned. The fourth chapter is coming soon or whenever the hell I feel like it.…


End file.
